We’re living in a fantasy, with pretty much every earth-dwelling man experiencing a certain level of body dysmorphia when it comes to the size of their members. We might not admit to it, but so much of our time is spent adding phantom inches when bragging about our bits on various dating apps or finding the perfect angle for a dick pic that makes it look just a little bit more impressive than it does IRL. We have, whether we’re straight or non-straight men, become a generation of size queens obsessed with magnifying our own junk, and it’s fuelling a culture that has lead us down a dangerous path when it comes to our body image. It’s not six or seven, as some men might suggest when quizzed about it in front of their mates (only to make a joke about theirs being “waaaay bigger than that!”), but a perfectly adequate 14 centimetres.
Prepare yourself for a cold hard fact: the average erect penis in Britain is five-and-a-half inches long.